You hear the murmurs from neighbours and friends. It's a terrible feeling--embarrassed, you feel like you've lost your independence. Your only option is to accept defeat and move back in with your parents.
For whatever reason, your finances are running low and you cannot afford to live on your own anymore. Maybe you lost your job, maybe you've graduated from university--regardless, moving back to your parents' home is inevitable. But before your move, there are some steps you can take to make the process less stressful and less frustrating.
Discuss expectations
According to a recent article on Lifehacker, it can be beneficial to go over expectations with your parents before you even plan the move. Kristin Wong says that moving back home is way different from staying with a friend, so the expectations involved are even more crucial to a successful move. When you start the conversation with your parents, it can be a good idea to draft up a lease that covers the following topics:
- Finances: How will you be spending your money while you're living there? Do you have plans to save up so you can live on your own again?
- Routine: What is your schedule going to be like? Will it conflict with your parents' schedules?
- Living habits: It is extremely important to discuss basic habits and behaviors you might have before moving back in with your parents.
- Rent and chores: How will you pitch in? Will you contribute money for rent each month? Will you participate in daily and weekly chores around the house?
Living with your parents the first time around was different. This time, you're a guest and should act like it. Try not to fall into the same old behaviors and routines that you had when you were growing up. They might still be your parents, but their home is only a temporary solution for you.
Consider boundaries
As a guest, you should treat the situation as the traditional tenant-landlord scenario. There are specific boundaries that come with the living situation, and you want to maintain a certain level of respect for your parents while living in their home. When discussing the move with your parents, you should consider topics like where you will stay, when you are allowed to have house guests and how everyone will maintain privacy in this new scenario. You are no longer a child, so it's time to restructure your relationship with your parents so they view you as an adult.
Have a plan to move out
Again, this living situation is only temporary for you. Be sure not to fall into the trap of complacency. Moving back in with your parents is usually a necessary step to getting back on your feet and supporting yourself. Though you may feel deflated and frustrated with your situation, you have to view it as a crucial step in the process. Sometimes, you have to step back to see the whole picture before you can take a step forward.
Plan an exit strategy before you move back home. Have a plan to save up money, while pitching in for groceries and rent, and find a way to support yourself. If you don't have a job, look for one that will help you accomplish this goal. Be on the lookout for places to live, as well as friends or acquaintances looking for roommates. It can even be a good idea to give yourself a deadline for when you'd like to move out of your parents' home again.
In this situation, it's important not to get too comfortable. Remember that you can set ground rules to make the experience more beneficial for both you and your parents. Using these tips, you can reduce the stress and frustration of the moving process.