Living on your own is often expensive. You may have moved in with your significant other
, but sometimes circumstances also require
moving in with his or her parents. This can be a difficult transition, especially for a formally independent couple. Even if you’re married, moving in with your in-laws will take some adjustments.
Why would you move in?
As a young couple, you value your independence, so it is unlikely that you would move in with your significant other’s parents intentionally. There are several reasons why you may have to, however:
- Losing a previous home in a disaster
- Financial troubles
- To help aid in the care of a child
- To help aid the parents
Navigating life with in-laws
Living with other people is tricky. In-laws are sometimes difficult to deal with in normal circumstances, but when you find yourself living in their home, you need to be careful to keep the peace. Try to keep the wishes and needs of your significant other and the parents in mind at all times. If you come to an agreement about rent and responsibilities early on, everyone can cohabitate successfully. If you clash with the parents, your life and relationship can suffer. Keep the following facts in mind:
- It is still the parents' house, so their decisions are final.
- Do your best to maintain your privacy as a couple.
- Make a plan and deadline for moving out. The situation is not ideal for anyone.
- If you are slightly uncomfortable dealing with your in-laws, get over it quickly. As roommates, you need to be able to communicate.
- Do not force your partner to be the go-between if you want to talk to the parents. This can lead to resentment and miscommunication.
- Offer to do household chores even if the parents seem to be handling it. It will show that you want to be a contributing member of the house.
Your significant other
Moving back home
is probably difficult for your partner. He or she may feel like a failure for returning to mom and dad, and it could lead to some reversion to child-like tendencies. Don’t be surprised if this happens, but do your best to remind your significant other that he or she is an adult. As a couple, you need to maintain as much privacy and independence as possible to keep this living situation from getting to you.
When moving in, remember that you are heading into a currently occupied home.
- Pack lightly. You will probably have limited room.
- Sell or give away objects that you do not need or want.
- You will not need to pack appliances or other shared items since they will likely be in the home already. However, if you want privacy while using certain items, like televisions, then you must bring your own.
- Avoid bringing anything offensive to the in-laws into their home. For example, you may not find your avant garde art piece disturbing, but the parents may find it so disgusting that they don't even want it in their home, even if it's out of sight.
- Don’t expect the parents to pay for the move or to help on move day. It is likely that you are getting financial help from the family since you are moving in with them, so don’t ask for more assistance.
Remember that as their child’s significant other, you are probably subject to your in-law’s scrutiny. Be civil, responsible and accountable, and you can gain points with your in-laws during this difficult situation.